babble

I’ve seen a few people talking about numbers lately. Specifically: should we or shouldn’t we tell our weights? I’m honestly not sure how i feel about it, so i’m going to do another “thinking out loud” session and see what happens.

One of the arguments for open and honest discussion of Real Weight Numbers is the “no one knows what ___ pounds looks like” thing. And i agree that no one knows what ___ pounds looks like - because it’s damn near impossible to guess. Height, age, bone structure, proportion… these are all incredibly important when guesstimating a person’s weight.

I know i’ve posted it before, but it deserves a repeat: Photographic Height. Here we have a chart of pictures of people ranging from 4ft 10in - 6ft 8in, and 90 lbs to 380 lbs. It’s not a complete chart, but it’s got a decent selection of pictures where you can see different people at the same weight, but at different heights (or vice versa). For me, the interesting thing about it? Is that my body, while technically the same height and width of the person occupying the 5′7″ & 235lbs box, looks nothing like her body. Totally different proportions, different shape, Different Whole Lotta Things.

So there’s definitely a part of me that thinks it’s impossible to ever really know What ___ Pounds Looks LIke.

Given that, is it worth talking about the numbers or not? Well, whether or not we talk about them, the numbers will still get talked about. I imagine that i would bring it up if it’s contextually sound - say, me and some friends are comparing how much we weigh. Or, someone says to me something along the lines of, “omg 200 pounds is EW FAT”, in which case i have the option of sweetly asking them how much they thought i weighed, or telling them outright that it’s “Miss Two-Thirty-Five To You, Bitchtits”.

I’m definitely against lying about one’s weight, because, well, i’m just against lying in general. In the name of disclosure and honesty, my driver’s license says i’m… *checks*… 175 lbs (yes, i really did have to go look). That’s completely unintentional: that card was issued (*checks again*) in September of 2005; three years ago. And even back then it had been at least a year or three since i’d stepped on a scale. So i honestly had no idea what my then-current weight was. I think i might have asked the lady behind the counter what she thought i weighed and just run with it.

See what happened there? Maybe not, because that last paragraph got rewritten a few times and you’re not all privvy to the stuff in my head. But what just happened was that i got to feeling a little defensive about it - felt like i had to explain the whole boring situation to prove that it was, in fact, a boring situation. No lies, no trickery, no intent to deceive.

And that? Is part of the argument for No Numbers. My weight is my own business. Feeling like i have to answer to anyone about the numbers is not too different from feeling like i have to answer to anyone about the size that goes with those numbers.

On that side of things, i’m not going to be so naive as to say that the number “doesn’t matter”. Sure it does. If it really and truly didn’t matter, then this sort of conversation would never happen because we wouldn’t care. The numbers matter. Maybe not to you, and maybe not to me, but they matter to a fair number of Somebodies out there - and those Somebodies are going to make the occasional stupid statement about someone’s weight. When those situations happen, we have a choice as to how we want to react, or IF we want to react at all.

The two most prominent reactions (in my brain, anyways) are: “want to show what ___ lbs really looks like” vs. “Not Your Body = Not Your Business”.

Both of those are incredibly valid points, and neither is more important or relevant than the other. It’s really a matter of personal preference. Some people are comfortable talking about these sorts of numbers, some people aren’t.

Here’s a really important thing: when that moment comes when you have the option of choosing your reaction, the content of what you say isn’t the entirety of what you are conveying. To be blunt: how you say it matters just as much as what you say. Whether or not you’re aware of the emotions that display in your voice when you talk, other people will pick up on them (with varying degrees of sensitivity, accuracy, conscious/subconscious, etc). Which is why, in this instance especially, comfort levels are SO important.

On those days where i’m not comfortable saying that number out loud (because Out Loud is always Different), i won’t say it without being asked - and if someone asks, i’ll inform them (in as polite a fashion as i can manage) that it’s none of their freaking business.

To make a long story short (too late!):

• if you’re comfortable giving the numbers, do it.
• if you’re not comfortable giving the numbers, don’t do it.

There are perfectly valid reasons for doing either one, and i’d rather have the FA community be represented by confident people with a variety of voices and opinions than by nervous people who say what they think sounds best for the movement.